Incident 1:
She was jumping (literally) with joy on hearing that one of her close friends X was going to get married. She was euphoric. Her mum was quite puzzled and asked her " En ippidi kudhikara( why are you jumping?)". She told her the reason and her mum was like "Fine.. so what?" she replied " I am looking forward to attend the marriage". " Anyways you won't know many people in the marriage. You'll just eat and come" that was her mom. She gave her ' killing looks' and left.
Incident 2: The same day ...
Mom: Your cousin Y is getting married.
She: So??
Mom: What so?? For X you were soo happy and this is your cousin and are you not happy?
She: I am happy but I don't even know Y properly.
Mom: what?? All our relatives will come and you can help around and we'll have lot of work to do.
She: ???
Okay, the above conversation was my own . I want to tell you this, X is a person I speak with often and whom I know well and whose well-wisher I am, though X is not related to me in any way. Whereas Y is just a person whom I meet at family functions and marriage and hear about what's happening in Y's life from others and do not even speak often directly though a very close relative. These two conversations on the same day made me think :
1. Are marriages just a matter of helping and meeting people? Doesn't it also involve genuine happiness to the person involved? Doesn't just wishing the couple and really feeling happy by seeing the marriage complete the purpose of attending?
2. Why this partiality everywhere to your blood-relatives ? In my case as I mentioned before I know these people only via social gatherings. I don't even know the basic characteristics of my so-called brothers and sisters . And obviously I also don't know the name of the person to whom they are going to get married till I see the invitation or else I get to know " Oh, I heard that boy/girl is a doctor/prof/lawyer" again thro the air.
Now people reading this, please tell me what you feel. Am I the only WEIRDO who feels this way or have any of you experienced it?
9 comments:
actually was thinking abt blogging on this..blood stuff...but in a very different context..lemme see ,if i do it..i agree and scientifically speaking we humans are less than 1% different from each other..so it crap to talk abt blood being thicker what ever....
Yup.. right meen. Bond doesn't come just coz we're blood-related( since many murders also happen among related people). Its something that should be planted, nutured and cherished. And I think a bond naturally grew when ppl were together like in a joint family which is absent nowadays so there has been a gap but some ppl aren't ready to accept it.
I like the western ppl in this context -->> You can attend the marriage only if you are invited, n the invites r sent only to those whom the bride/groom knows very well n their presence makes em happy...
Oh.. is it? WOW! That makes sense...
janani kalakare po ...
I agree with u... its totally acceptable to be happy for a person you know better than for a person u may be related to but never meet...
Another thought? Do you really think every single person who attends a marriage comes to bless the couple? If it were your own marriage, how often are you going to meet all the people who attend it? I am sure you are never going to meet more than 50% of them for the rest of your life, another 20% maybe once or twice a year...
Yup.. very true. And in India we also have a custom of giving off invitations to close relatives like our siblings. aunt etc and asking them to call their friends whom you would've never met and never ever meet again. Imagine looking at your pics years later and not knowing many ppl from your own marriage.
Lolz.. I Clearly understand your stand :D
First off, in my life, i have attended about 12 marriages if my memory serves. out of that 8 are friend's marriages. I usually turn down any offer for attending marriages, but those four marriages of my relatives, i went there to know who my cousins are :D
I too had/have the same mindset like you. but i want to change it. Coz i now try to search for a friend in a cousin/uncle/aunt/grandpa/grandma. I have already made some friends as close as relatives. Now I want to check whether the other way round works as well....
ha ha ha..Good luck in your search :D But feel things are better when they are in places where they should be. Maybe friends are better off being friends. You can search for a friend in your relative for a better relationship.
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